Watch out for the Monkey!
  • Take care out there guys, theres a nutter on the loose with a possible vendetta against couriers...
    Hes very distinctive, In-line skates and a gorilla mask. He punched Chandra in the stomach yesterday in passing, and I found myself face to face with him swinging at me in the middle of the High Ho one-way system. I think someone from creative has also encountered this fool.
    Watch it!
  • Oh my god! Has anyone mentioned this to the police?
  • lol.....this has got to be wind up......if he takes a swing at me i will make him regret it.....
  • I heard about this guy.
    This job gets more like a computer game every day.
    " To progress into the West End you must defeat Roller Monkey."
  • Sorry to hear that about Chandra.What kind of a moron punches a girl, let alone when shes trying to make a living?
    All i can say is at last there is someone to offload all the aggravation i endured all those years on the road.

    He might well need the monkey mask permanently too .
  • yeah I had this really weird encounter with him yesterday. He was heading the wrong way up Procter st as I was heading home. I saw him get close to a cyclist up front but couldn't see what happened, then he headed straight for me. He threw a punch but it didn't land straight, grazed my side more. I didn't come off my bike or anything.
    Then I got really really angry and without quite thinking turned straight round and followed him onto Theobalds. I grabbed his shoulder from behind and then he swung round and hit me on the elbow.
    We then had this weird stand off as I was shouting at him brandishing a d-lock. I didn't hit him, wish I had but I realised he was bigger and I didn't know what he was going to do. Plus as I was now standing over my bike he was out of swinging range.
    He was shouting back do you want to me to hit you, brandishing a plastic orange bag with something in it. He had pulled up his mask and was either mixed race or black, also fairly stocky.
    It ended when another courier stopped and asked if I was o.k and he headed off.
    Yeah it is becoming more like some weird computer game....1000 points for this wanker
  • I thought this was a silly joke at first. I beg he tries this with me, it'll be Kryptonite New York lock to the head time.......and then I shall cut off said head and ride round London with it on a pole attatched to my bike with a helpful 'This is what happens if you fuck with couriers' sign underneath MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!
  • Certainly aint no joke. Id just gone through the Kingsway,HiHo junction heading west and this f**ker suddenly appears from southamton pl (by the RBS bank) flying straight at me in a very short game of chicken, he sort of swings, i go right and he goes left. If i hadnt heard about Chandra's run-in maybe i wouldnt have swerved and who knows... The guy is clearly on a mission and the fact that the incidents happened on different days means its an ongoing mission... Monkey hunt?
  • what the fuck????????????????????????????????????

    this is bizarre... ummm... speechless:shocked:

    i think it's fair to say he's a fucking coward- punching girls in the street (not that i'm doubting chandra can handle the fuck but you know what i'm saying).


    pint for whoever de-masks him
  • He's actually Creative's monkey. He's supposed to knock you off your bike then say " Creative runs the Westend. Stay away" in a scary voice. He's obviously forgetting to say the line, I'll need to have a word with Bill ...I mean The Monkey tomorrow.
  • Jesus wept.

    I seriously am looking forward to hearing that the fuckwit is in hospital with multiple head injuries and fractures after being severely beaten with a blunt, U-shaped object.

    I hope none of you get injured by him.
  • this is fucking crazy. i honestly thought it was a joke. hope you guys catch that nutcase and sort him out...
    if he's still around on the 13th i'll be there ready for the "massacre"... extra points on the alleycat to whoever catches the monkey?
  • Maybe he's not only after couriers though, but cyclists in general, and we just don't know about it?
    Either way it's really bad, the last thing you expect to hit you when you're working is a fuckin monkey
  • Saw this arsehole a couple of weeks ago weaving in and out of peds around Princes circus wc2.He seemed mentally ill to me.Good to hear you are well,Chandra.
  • has anyone spoken to the police?
  • Don't want to sound all bitter and cynical Sleepy, but if he's attacking cyclists the police will probably recruit him instead of nicking him
  • you reckon?

    i honestly think if you told the police that there was a bloke riding round on rollerskates in gorilla mask punching strangers they'd take a rather keen interest. he sounds fucking mental and not someone who ought to be out on the streets, whether incarcerated or recieving treatment.

    or we could just hunt him down and smack him in the face with a d-lock a few times till he gets the message?
  • Judging by the way this idiot was skating around I'd be surprised if he wasn't in monkey heaven/hell.
  • i'm finding it really hard to believe that there have been at least 2 incidents of a man on rollerskates in a gorilla mask attacking random people and no one has made a statement to the police.

    fucking bizarre not to mention irresponsible.

  • "Excuse me officer,I've just been attacked by a roller-skating monkey."
  • glad to hear it wasn't more serious chandra.

    it's been posted on the other forum so there'll be a few more people on the lookout around holburn for this nutcase.
  • *facepalm*

    what are these people on the lookout (i'm assuming from fgss) going to do fred? tell him to buy a smeear hat cos gorilla masks are way 90s? sell him a vintage campy pista chainset?

    why risk getting yourself injured or arrested when there are people paid for this shit?
  • no facepalm necessary - easier for a rider who's commuting to find time to call the police / stick around than a courier who's on a job. plus prolly a hundred or more fgss riders pass throuugh holburn every day
  • the police will do sweet FA unless statements have been made, there is the strong suggestion on this thread that none have. it is not illegal to rollerskate with a gorilla mask, however assault and interfering with vehicles on the road are both illegal but if the victim doesn't make a statement then there is nothing that can be done.
  • so what do you suggest...?
  • can someone whisper me chandra or jp's (preferably both) so i can ask them personally if they have reported this please. both of them know me in the real world so should be fine.

  • Sleeps is right. No-one should get anywhere near this guy except the police. But the police won't do anything unless someone tells them about the assaults.
  • If it's who I think it is, this guy has been around for years. Put it this way you usually smell him before you see him and he's a pretty nasty piece of work. When I first noticed him years ago in the Kings Cross area he seemed to be rolling in to people on purpose ( though trying to make it look like an accident) and then lifting their purse/wallet.
    I'm pretty sure he's already known to police.
    Total arsehole
  • I can understand your worries about getting injured and that police should do their job, BUT!

    But a number of articles I've recently read about the way citizens of UK are governed had a point, where government doesn't want people to protect themselves (knives / pepper sprays banned) but wants police to take care of it. I'm sorry, I disagree with it. I want to be able to protect myself and my future family cause police will not always be around.

    So even though it might not be a fair fight, let me put my Oxford winter chill mask on, and smack the guy's ribs/stomach/balls if I see him approaching me.

    I know assaults are illegal, but come on. If I'm a thief I know people will not necessarily make a formal statement if I just have a go at them, so I can keep on doing what I'm doing unpunished. Now if someone fights back to me and I finish with some nasty bruises and some pain, maybe that won't stop me straight away, but if this repeats, after three such situations I will understand that the sweet times are over.
  • if you think that it is better that this is not reported to the police then you are a dick. plain and simple.
  • while you're here care to forward me the articles, they may just convince me more than your worthless shite post.

    Maybe this is being a dick, but from my point of view (never knew of this guy, read these posts today, am cycling back home after work) - if I meet him on my way back home and he gives me a punch and I manage to stop / catch him - I land more blows on him and cycle away - and I wouldn't bother to notify Police, as I would be happy that what he got was as much justice as I deemed appropriate.

  • fairplay, your viewpoint is staggeringly selfish but understandable if that's who you are.

    what if he see's a big man like you and decides not to don his gorilla mask and instead waits for an easier target and pushes them into oncoming traffic?
  • Ha! So we get to the point. I cannot speak for others and I explained what actions I would take in this situation ONLY.

    I know how easy it is to prove one's point by exaggerating you opponent's point of view all the way to the absurd, so that the person is forced to change their opinion. But I don't give any general truths here, only say what I think I would do - obviously when any of this shit actually happens, I might panic and run away, as no, I am not a big man.

    But - to answer your question - first of all I wouldn't know anything about it, since I didn't witness it. Second - he seems to be a mugger, not a killer. BUT if I witnessed it, I would call the police and try to restrain him as much as it's possible, before police arrives.
  • i've just read your links and realised you're one of "them".

    y'know, if chandra was packing a pistol this would never have happened.

    you dick.
  • LOL,

    it's so cool you have the power to determine who someone is based on his attitude to one situation, as even I don't know myself that well.

    If I were Chandra carrying a gun and someone punched me on my bike - I wouldn't use it, no. It's a fucking difficult skill to find the 'golden mean' between two extremes in everything that comes to us, and I do believe my actions would be quite close to it.
  • at the risk of a major fucking de-rail:

    "But a number of articles I've recently read about the way citizens of UK are governed had a point, where government doesn't want people to protect themselves (knives / pepper sprays banned) but wants police to take care of it. I'm sorry, I disagree with it. I want to be able to protect myself and my future family cause police will not always be around."

    and you would rather see a system in place like the states with a highly armed populace where the risk of rape and murder are much higher?

    from your own link:

    "Except for murder and rape, it admitted, "Britain has overtaken the US for all major crimes." "

    i really hope you learn the read/think before you get a family.

    kindly fuck off with your survivalist bullshit.
  • PS. I'm not in favour of allowing people to carry guns, but I'm against different institutions pushing their limits in deciding for me what when and where I'm allowed to do, say or think.

    See, I'm a Pole, a 'bloody Polack' which steals jobs and stuff. And I have just read that a Polish Union let's call it has just protested and sued some journalist for calling Poles 'Polacks'. And you know what? I realized they've been here long enough to learn that whenever there is a chance to negatively interprete something - do it. Everyone will be on your side, because everyone in UK wants to be PC. And I feel disgrace for this Polish Union for doing that, because that only shows how weak and miserable they are. I would very much prefer for people to call me names, when my deeds would prove what a person I really am, and seriously, nationality does not matter to define what a person is or isn't.

    Oops, my time is up, so have a good evening and send that monkey to Hyde Park in 15 minutes :)
  • Sleepy, don't get too excited. That article and that forum describes a situation happening in UK and maybe its comparison to USA. That does not mean I agree with everything said in either of those two. All I can agree with, is that responsibility is slightly off balance in here, that's all.

    Police don't allow me to carry a gun - fine. Not even a knife - okay. No pepper spray, or anything that can be used as an offensive weapon? Well I'm sorry, ZEFAL pump is enough to beat a guy quite badly.

    So in return I expect they allow me to react to punches coming into me, unless they are actually in that place at that time and then I would be happy for them to serve justice to that guy.
  • Mauryc are you for real? I sniff a bit of armchair heroism going on.
    For starters this guy is twice the size of Chandra, aggressive and more than likely mad (the gorilla mask is an indicator) who is attacking people without provocation.
    The best advice, surely, is stay the fuck away from him.
  • Just got a skater's view on it:

    Nothing too surprising here, but if the guy really does know most of the London skaters, perhaps the monkey will get run to earth (forgive the hunting analogy).
  • he has an axe to grind- this has nothing to do with the thread- i doubt that matters to him.
  • The guy (monkey) is probably to some degree mentally ill.Having said that and him being on the loose that means 2 things a)he is not that ill so he is regarded as safe to run amongst ordinary folk b)he is seriously ill but as so frequently happens the diagnosis was wrong so it ended up again on the loose somehow.In the first case in any aggressive encounter he is liable to receive as much punishment its necessary to restrict him ,if possible by the victim/surrounding helpers if not then the potential victim has a duty to care for himself first and above everything else.If he is mentally ill he cant be hold responsible for his actions , best route to avoid him and alert police.Either way the response in these situations is very hard to be measured and delivered with accuracy ,specially when the victim feels and rightly so that it was a totally unjust attack which seriously undermined ones safety (pushed while riding).

    I would say alert the police, but don't expect them to help you out individually.My personal experience with the police (i was the victim) in many occasions has taught me one thing:When you end up to the police station is usually because its too late.
  • The guy is obviously seriously mentally ill, and the only sensible thing is avoid confrontation and get the police involved.Responding to him with violence except in self-defense is putting yourself at enormous risk, not least of prosecution.
  • Kept meaning to call in to Holbon cop shop but didnt have the time. Doubt a statement from me would hold much worth as the guy didnt make any physical contact (even though he tried). They must have him on CCTV tho... A statement from Chandra would make a case especially as the other courier that joined her probably saw the whole thing (isnt that right mate?), adding a witness to the proceedings...
    Even then its doubtful that its gonna get circulated to the average plod. Would help if we had a word with beat coppers/PCSOs in the holbon area and get them talking amongst themselves (im sure Roller Monkey would give em a laugh). Someone else mentioned seeing this guy pushing into commuters on bikes...
    Hes gotta be some sort of nut job, who in their right mind would don a monkey mask and go out looking to knock off some cyclists... Fucker needs to be taken out!
  • Lol, another menace...
  • angeleyes:
    Very clinical and best explanation so far...seconded.

    If you attack first you might get in helluva trouble, a) if cops see it b) if he carries some tools he sounds mad enough to use the...

    Different story if he starts, but still probably best avoided if possible... I`d try to follow him and see what he gets up to, if any chaos witnessed then could get the police involved.

    No doubt needs to eradicated- there`s enough madness as it is out there...

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