it's not about your faces lads, it's all about the legs; do they bulge appealingly, are your calves like sculpted bronze, do your thighs say 'take me i'm yours', are your knees like two delicious dumplings just inviting an eager mouth, are your hamstrings like the cables on the Brooklyn Bridge, do your varicose veins stand proud in the moonlight? Are your buttocks the stuff that dreams are made on?