So, you want a bicycle messenger to be part of your cool new business delivering mocha chai lattes to city boys? Or just keeping it traditional distributing Bolivia's finest? Oh, you just want someone to do the shit work no one else wants. That's fine but there is some etiquette you may find helpful as the chances are if you're posting on here to find one you don't actually know any and the ones you see in the street are too intimidating/cool/smelly for you to approach and we're one sensitive bunch.

1. The average wage for couriers varies massively but if we say it's £60 a day (not unreasonable?) that does not mean £6 an hour for ten hours, more likely £20 an hour for 3 hours and 7 hours sitting "on plot" bitching at fakengers (or Bill if you work for creative ), smoking cigarettes, drinking coffee, eating food out of bins and generally looking cool. The actual working part pays per drop and is dependant upon the size/weight of the package, the distance covered and the urgency. Claiming that a rider should be able to do 100+ drops on a 5 mile run in an hour does not mean that £15 is an appropriate fee, my son.

2. Don't be surprised, shocked or offended when people say nasty things about or to you. We do this to everyone especially our employers and their clients (unless the clients have good toilets or sweets on the counter). They are all slave drivers and far far worse than Hitler and no, we don't care that your grandad was jewish or fought in a war. I said we're sensitive, not sensitive to you.

3. Perks are good. Back in the day that meant a free bag worth £250 and access to best coke to have graced a popstar's nostril, nowadays free food/coffee or whatever would be nice. It can make the difference between someone being rude to your clients and leaving turds floating in their bogs or waltzing into their office generally being amazing.

4. Before posting here, consider actually meeting some couriers in the real world. Full city coffee shop would probably be a good place, or the reprobates on Wood St EC2, if you're really brave you could try Creative corner but they're way cooler than you. You may realise that you want nothing to do with these foul people or you may meet the person for the job, either way you'll be in more of a position to get the right person for your job.

This may well be edited and updated if I can be arsed. Oh, and anyone want to give me some part time work? I've got 2 days a week for the highest bidder- CV supplied on request.

Sacked?

DD- this post was partially aimed at you, it's traditional to give some idea of hours/pay/conditions on a job offer. the lack of it makes me suspicious and also i have a deep rooted contempt for bricklane and all businesses within a 100m radius. i'm not so desperate for work as to start calling fancy sandwich deliveries for what could well be a sub-minimum wage job, i may as well go back on circuit.

jsh- nah not sacked, i'm just in a position where some part time work would be good. i can do building/painting/decorating/light carpentry/bikeshop work and all sorts really- when it comes to bicycle delivery jobs i have the experience and skillz to be as picky as i like.

Nice thread. I edited the title and made it sticky. Hope you don't mind.

Great post Sleepy.

What does sticky mean?

"i have a deep rooted contempt for bricklane and all businesses within a 100m radius."

Love it. If I may, can I rephrase it? Cheers

I have a deep rooted contempt for Brick Lane and the people there at weekends (especially them ones out of the 'Dickheads' video?)

At least the Big Chill makes money off fakengers, and then uses that cash to put on great DJ's like Earl Gateshead. And LCB coffee is the best in East London, by a country mile. . .

Good thread Sleepy!! Happy New Year dude hope that party went well.

Looking for a full time rider to replace an outgoing one at 3d couriers. Ideally someone with a fair bit of experience, but if not then you need to be able to ride pretty quickly. If you're interested ring 020 7299 6977.

Been riding around London for a few years and can get around easily, no previous delivery experience but did used to ocassionally shadow my friend who couriered in NYC while I lived there.

Looking mainly for weekend or evening work so please get in touch if you're looking for someone,

rread (at) hotmail.co.uk

Cheers

@McR_Rider86: there are currently less than half a dozen cycle couriers in Manchester - down from nearly twenty ten years ago. No work here. Don't even think about it.