@redrum seeing as you have alienated your whole family pool and left dents in the carvan site you live on i would suggest moving perhaps see if you can get yourself a job on the local travelling fair pref on the hall of mirrors stall where you can place your angry misguided kicks at yourself but be careful to make sure you wear steel toe caps as would hate to think of you sitting in AE picking out bits of fluff from your toes while the already over worked NHS have to deal with the spinters on the rest of your web type feet

@1+1/8
Can i suggest you might wish to get yourself down to your local pound shop sit outside there for a little while with your gormless fixed grin see if you can make a pound which would be 100 pennys to you
Then when have hit the magical targert of 100 pennys see if you can work out how to open the door hopefully someone may guide you into the shop as know doors can seem quite daunting to a person with your obvious problems and once you have managed to acheive this quite outstanding feat ask the nice shop assiant bear in mind try not to dribble when you speak to her
And ask if she could please sell you a squeaky toy so you can then go home sit your dark room and get your barbie doll and you can then wright in on your advent caldener the one you are saving for xmas and that has little bits of chcoclate behind each window and say i must try harder to refrain from saying things i cant even make sense of and when done that you can sit down and talk to barbie doll and when you want her to talk back give your squeaky apinch and will make that squeak noise so you and barbie can talk sense as i dont want to have to read it

Yeah, mildura5, I do actually recall you mentioning your sister.
As for the chillum, I got that for my ex. It used to sit on her mantlepiece with a lot of other hippy stuff. I haven't seen it since she moved earlier this year. She's got too respectable to use chillums these days. Not too respectable to dump husbands at will and take 'em for everything they've got though. To think she was once a scummy courier who often kicked doors, mirrors and things on her pushbike and her GPZ900.

Classic thread! I'm gonna kick redrum off his bike at the checkpoint he's manning next Friday's checkpoint race, and then proceed to shower him with his own spokey dokeys lol!!!

I've never kicked anything, not even a kickflip (I sucked at skateboarding).

@Mildura5 I think i might have kicked your mum this morning ;)

@charlie...hahahahah is it!?! Well i aint manning a checkpoint...im the one that says go and you young man have just earned yourself two flat tyres to start the race with ;)

@I Doubt it redrum unless you happen to be in Paris this morning, Might have found the mum you kicked this morning is the mum roll on deodrant bottle you have dressed in your barbie dolls clothes so you no longer have to stand in the Dr Bardonods Q looking to find someone take you home and give you all the love and attention your own home made roll up mum deodrant bottle dosent
By the way when you dress your mum deordrant bottle in Bratz Doll clothes you should seriously take a step back with those web feet you hide in you wellington boots and consider perhaps time to seek help with your addction to kicking in doors and if still find the urge to continue your habbit of door kicking try to think postive thoughts that will help you over come your craving for door kicking such thoughts as i have web feet but could be worse could come from the same gene pool as some others on here so aint all bad news

i am in paris! so maybe it was your mum!? she liked how my deodrant smelt ;)

@Charile RoadKill when redrum stands at his checkpoint dose he dress up in in his army surplus uniform with his can of mum body perfume dressed in her battle fatigues and bring his own wooden shed to make it look more like army base than a army base from a old ealing film and pops out to lift up the white pole he has put across the road to get more into the part of been a checkpoint attendent and salute as people go by wondering where the hell this years care in the community grant has been spent

Fucking hell, what a load of gibberish. Fair play to anyone who managed to decipher anything that you've been typing.

@050 thankyou @Dead pedaler I take it you arent from the gene pool that worked on the Enigma machine perhaps you are still working on trying to work out that when you boil in a cadbury creme egg it isnt quite the same as one that comes from a farm where they keep battery chickens cooped up and when i say battery chickens i dont mean durcell or ever ready i mean ones that walk round pecking off the ground
Giberish really beautiful word and tottaly underused in the English laniage unlike the over use of full stops and commons

@redrum learning more about spelling fullstops than ever who knows maybe by time i ger to your checkpoint i might be able to use a full stop with out having to put my feet down on the tarmac
I have decided this will be my last post on here as belive i have overstayed my welcome with my sour bitter sense of life i would like to personally thank everyone for their own wit and bitterness and sour veiw of life
And just before i do go i hope all of you are riding safetly and hopefully knocking out dockets like redrum knocks out door panels and rem most car drivers are stupid thick cunts bitchs wankers when comes to cyclists so make sure your mind is always one step ahead of theres
Thankyou one and all

'morning, Might'

See, you're so close Mildew. Just a few more of these please.

@overdrive very very good in fact i wasnt going to ever post on here again but you have changed my mind
So like a punch drunk boxer with a dodgy retina that has to get his boxing licence renewed by Dr Harold Shipman and counter signed by Dr Legg when he returns to his day job of treating the ill and infirm of albert sq after his short but succesful stint of the been the Face of Daz i have returned
So anyone has anything horriable to say about myself or my sister can direct your vile bile at overdrive as it is because of his excellent post of door kicking and car smashing i am here

@Kirk of Alaska are you a throw back to a by gone era of stand up comics as with out doubt that has to be the funniest joke i have heard in a very long time
I doubt you know these comics but you must share the funny gene pool with the likes of Russ Abbot Ronald Corbert James Tarbuck so please do keep the jokes coming as it makes me realise how much i miss real saturday night entertainmeant shows like the Generation Game Russ Abbots mad house and Noels house Party and not forgetting celebraity squares where if you are type of person who is impresssed with seeing a collection of celebs all in the same place sitting in their own little square in abig square you would be total heaven

http://www.youtube.com/watch#!v=_QR9QP0Rjsc&feature=related

Get a grip you sad fuck.

...Yeah.

But did anyone see that guy getting kicked by a horse! What an asshole!

Seriously though, gotta give it to Mildura. His level of contribution to this forum now far exceeds even the site owner's by a long shot. Good to see someone's keeping it ticking over.

@Sideshow bobby i would think Mr William has done a brillant job from the day he came up the idea of writing and printing a magazine and selling it for 50p(i said it was a pound but quite sure it was 50p earlier on)to putting it on the web and not taking one penny from MT as a private pension fund which no doubt must have been tempting on a thursday morning when cash card wasnt alloing him to witdraw his lunch money due to lack of funds
So with out heaping praise on the said person i think perhaps you should all get togther get your web like fingers to clasp your jackercrack pencials and get a pettion together and post it to Buckingham Palace as seeing they give out MBES AND OBES and knighthoods to people who have done a fraction of good for even less deserving people than he has done for some of yous he deserves to get some reconition but saying that he may already have been handed a medal of merit from Barrack in helping people from the USA get jobs at creative when blanking his own loyal friends who have been desp to get on that circuit
In fact will write my own letter of rec to the Buckingham Palace and once done will trawl thru yellow pages to find a decent courier company to pick it up as wouldnt trust anyone on here stupid enough to read my crap to deliver it as got to be a right thick shit to encouarge me to contiune with this drivel

@dead pedlar Your right will make point not to write in English as dont really want you reading my trash as bad enough having you looking thru peoples bins when they are asleep

overdrive that car kicking is classic! Im loving my new car kicking hobby!

it was me i hurt my foot i may sue

@curly Sue who clarkes shoe shop for seeling you a badly fitting open toe sandal and convincing you it was a toe steel cap

Thread

Gets

yours is 99 for me O'drizzle, guess someone must have whispered something. Heres 100 for the rest of us. Whoop!