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Control Box: Who'd be a controller?

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      CommentAuthorEmilia
    • CommentTimeFeb 23rd 2009
     
    If I were a controller, I reckon I'd love everything about the job, except sitting around not riding my bike all day, which I'd HATE. I can't imagine how anyone familiar with the circuit could bear to sit inside and listen to other people riding around - but then, most (all?) controllers are ex-couriers, so clearly there comes a point where you've had enough, and/or want to get your own back.

    Maybe this is something I'll understand when I'm a bit older. But can anyone tell me WHY?
  2.  
    i always thought i wouldnt mind trying out at being a controller, espcially on the wet days. I think i would enjoy so many people relying on me the get it right, the smug sensation of self importance.....although im sure our controller isnt an ex courier, he's too old and fat
  3.  
    Why?

    Because you're a fat, grumpy arsehole who enjoys telling other people what to do, even if it goes against common sense.
  4.  
    Or, because you get paid better, you can ride when you want in your free time, and you're sick of risking your life for a pittance.
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      CommentAuthorzero cc
    • CommentTimeFeb 23rd 2009 edited
     
    Comes a time, too many crashes, the knees are complaining, thinking about a wage and holiday pay - hey, you can do up/change your bike into something snazzier, be a commuter, a fakenger (but everyone knows your not: kudos).
    And the buzz on a good circuit - like wombling said: people relying on you, and when it all goes right there's a connection with the riders, with the street... it's a buzz. But see here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/movingtarget/3081371185/in/set-72157610715700898/ for how it can all go wrong. Pretty much the only times I totally lost my rag was when controlling. Also a drink problem. And other stuff.
    But I doubt if it's like that any more - there ain't enough work to make a buzz, let alone cause a breakdown.

    Back in the day I used to have the classic controllers nightmare: paper dockets falling out of the sky and burying me. i know I wasn't the only one. The famous Auntie Claire told me that she once woke up to find her hands around her partners neck, screaming 'ARE YOU POB YET? OVER".



    edit: anyone wanna turn that link into an actual link for me. I'm being pathetic cos I crashed this evening (took a temporary speed bump at the wrong angle). Nice face plant, bruised thighs (!) and a small cracked rib, I think. Thinking about being a controller...
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      CommentAuthorEmilia
    • CommentTimeFeb 23rd 2009
     
    That made me laugh, about the controller's nightmares! :-D
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      CommentAuthorj001
    • CommentTimeFeb 23rd 2009 edited
     
  8.  
    Zero, Sorry to hear about your injuries. Having done ribs cracked and broken like Bill Clinton I feel your pain.
  9.  
    Why?

    Cos it pays more than being a rider.

    A lot less satisfying, tho.
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      CommentAuthoroverdrive
    • CommentTimeFeb 24th 2009
     
    I cannot read that what's on that link at all.The writing's too small.
    What I hate is when an ex-rider gets the controllers job then totally shits on the riders.
    Human nature,no?
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      CommentAuthorj001
    • CommentTimeFeb 24th 2009
     
    if you click on "all sizes" is readable...
    •  
      CommentAuthoroverdrive
    • CommentTimeFeb 24th 2009
     
    Thanx.
  13.  
    Controllers are generally people who can't cut in on the road any more.
    Zero (who was a good controller) is right: there isn't a buzz anymore. It doesn't usually get busy enough to get under pressure. If it does, you're fucked because the riders out there aren't as good as they used to be and can't handle serious runs in quick time. Even very good motorbikes can't handle them because they can't get through all the bloody roadwors, unnecessary traffic islands and bus lanes. Something will always go wrong.
    I've turned down controlling offers at Pink, Wharf (RIP) and Greyhound in the last few years. I wouldn't go back to doing it.
    On the road, only one arsehole can screw you at a time - and so long as you keep your controller honest and don't let him get into bad habits with you he'll have difficulty doing it. On the other end of the radio, any one of thirty pricks can shaft you at any time.
    • CommentAuthorsleepy
    • CommentTimeFeb 28th 2009
     
    "I've turned down controlling offers at Pink"

    how did you turn them down?
  15.  
    The difference is, dear Count, that the one arseloch on the end of the radio controls how much money the thirty (or so) couriers on the other side make. When the couriers feck up, the controler still gets the same pay, he just gets annoyed.

    An important distinction, IMO
    •  
      CommentAuthorspirogiro
    • CommentTimeMar 1st 2009
     
    I came off the road & became a controller for several reasons:-

    First, I'd been offered the job at Security Despatch which, at the time, was the best P/B circuit in town and so the place to learn.

    Second, I was about to become a father and felt that I needed a stable job, earnings, holiday pay, etc.

    Third, I'd just hit 30 and been on the road for 5 years. I still loved the job but felt that it wasn't going to get any better career wise.

    At first I hated it! As a new voice on the radio you get stick from the established riders and believe me SD had the toughest, hardcore veterans who were not afraid to let you know when they felt you'd got it wrong. I missed being on the road and most of all I missed being part of the messenger community, you're not one of them anymore, you've gone over to the dark side.

    I resigned but was offered a compromise where I could work 3 days on control and 2 on circuit. This worked well for a couple of years until I came in full time.

    One day last year my colleagues, Brian, Lee and I covered close to 1400 jobs in a single day on our P/B circuit. I helped "Robbie" to his 87 docket Golden Radio record. I've sent my riders to Bermuda, India, Croatia and the U.S.A. I still get a buzz when these things happen.

    After 11 years on the box I still get immense satisfaction from sending a rider on a good run and when I know that they will have a good days earnings. I enjoy working with the most professional riders in town, sometimes I feel that I ride with them.

    My fondest regards to you all.
  17.  
    "I've sent my riders to Bermuda, India, Croatia and the U.S.A. I still get a buzz when these things happen."

    I beg you send me next time. I've heard of these mythical uber jobs, where do they come from?
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      CommentAuthorGertie
    • CommentTimeMar 1st 2009
     
    re work dreams; Mrs Gertie says that I 'brake' in my sleep - squeezing my hands desperately as I squirm in the bed. ( Fixie riders might want to get a grown up to explain this concept to you) I've also been known to wake up and mumble " I've got to get back to sleep 'cause there's undelivered packages left in that dream"
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      CommentAuthorBuffalo Bill
    • CommentTimeMar 1st 2009 edited
     
    Spiro, nice to hear that Robbie got the Gold Radio - I remember making the first gold radio (it was for the first guy to get to 50 dockets - it hung there for a long time until Byron got it, by which time we had moved to White Bear Yard, and OYB had become SD see http://www.movingtargetzine.com/article/losing-a-parcel).

    As far as dreams go, when I first started controlling, I too used wake up with a start, worrying about illusory dockets. Don't get that any more. Loth as I am to find myself in agreement with CB, I can only echo his comments about lack of buzz. Although there are some great riders at our company, who are more than capable of handling 6 up runs for 10 hours straight.

    And I too have had (when I was still on the road) the rider nightmare.


    Mine was always the same one: coming to the junction of Kennington Park Road and Kennington Road. Red light. I look right. It's clear. I move into the junction. I look right. It's clear. I pull away. Then all of a sudden, a cab comes at me from the right, I have nowhere to go because it barriers all the way down on my left, the cab hits me - I wake up.

    Horrible.
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      CommentAuthorangeleyes
    • CommentTimeMar 1st 2009
     
    87 dockets? surely a multidrop insight kev?

    i once got up on Saturday morning ,got dressed had my coffee and start riding to the city with my radio on before i realize just before i cross London bridge that it was Saturday for fks sake.

    And i wasn't even sleeping. How's that?
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      CommentAuthorspirogiro
    • CommentTimeMar 1st 2009
     
    No K, I do mean 87 dockets, deliveries were in the 100's that day, he even did an embassy W/R, I suspect that this record will never be broken. 'Robbie' is a one off and I know that I can say this without him finding out, he wouldn't know one end of a computer from another the miserable Scots git. All joking aside, the best rider I've worked with: OYB, SD, City Sprint 20 odd years man & boy.

    @Jonty. These "mythical" uber jobs, or on boards, are few & far between, every couple of years or so. The last one was 'Bada-Bing'' to Tel Aviv, they greeted him at customs with an Uzi and a 3 hour interview. Not the experience he was hoping for although he is rather shifty looking so you can't blame them.

    I had a dream that I used to manage a Barrister's Chambers, read an article in the Standard in the 80's about the "New Knights of the Road" and had some romantic notion. Or perhaps that was a previous life. If you don't enjoy what you do then I suggest it's time to move on.
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      CommentAuthorangeleyes
    • CommentTimeMar 1st 2009
     
    Impressive.I just cant imagine how he managed to do so many within a day.Even the traffic lights must have been on his side.It must have been a long day.Yes i think ''Robbie'' gathers all the qualities a good courier should have, above all consistency, and maturity you can only acquire with the years of experience he has behind him .And dare i say he is the most polite and well spoken courier i ever came across.I guess he still enjoys it a bit at least.I would even say i wish i was half as good as him at any given time , but i lost my enthusiasm for that job so much that even a ''Muppet'' sounds as a compliment to me now.And i probably was acting like one most of the time too.
    • CommentAuthorakeley
    • CommentTimeMar 2nd 2009
     
    87 dockets- more than I do in a week (>_<)
  24.  
    @ spiro: how do you decide who gets them? How much does a tel aviv drop pay? do you get to take your bike? aren't people being used as drugs mules?

    Forgive all the questions, rumours of these jobs have always fascinated me.
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      CommentAuthorEmilia
    • CommentTimeMar 2nd 2009
     
    I knew it was a good idea to carry my passport around with me! (Mind you, I've never heard of such a job coming up at Pink.)
  26.  
    I carry my passport because I like to think I could get one of those gigs. Nevermind the fact that the closest I've come was someone once tried to send me to Nome by mistake.
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      CommentAuthorEmilia
    • CommentTimeMar 2nd 2009
     
    I went all the way to SE26 once...
  28.  
    Ah, Nome sweet Nome. I hear there's no place like it.


    One of the more fun things at zero is getting to pick up christianna bikes that need servicing. You take a brompton, ride down to wherever the christianna is, fold the brompton up, put it in the trike and ride the trike back to the shop. The novelty hasn't worn off yet.
  29.  
    It was a funny thing. Back when I still used a pager. Client number comes up and less then a minute later a voicemail. Saying "Nevermind, this ones going to Nome." It was at the same time that the first Iditabike extreme from Wassilla to Nome was running. I had this picture of myself passing racers going. "Get out of my way, I've got a job on board!"
  30.  
    Now that would make a good scene in a film.
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      CommentAuthorzero cc
    • CommentTimeJun 16th 2009
     
    It's 2.30 - am - I just woke up from a full on controller nightmare. It's funny though, there were a bunch of riders I know from Manc, but I was running a totally unfamiliar circuit in London, with clients I didn't know, with a radio system that didn't work, with handwritten dockets that I couldn't read, and a bunch of people standing round saying 'I thought you used to be good at this?".
    Why the fuck is this coming back to haunt me now?
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      CommentAuthorGertie
    • CommentTimeJun 16th 2009
     
    'cause you've a guilty conscience about all the riders you slapped/clients you pissed off?
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      CommentAuthoroverdrive
    • CommentTimeJun 16th 2009
     
    Well,he has a conscience unlike some of the monsters that sit in front of a screen all day!
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      CommentAuthorzero cc
    • CommentTimeJun 16th 2009
     

    Hey – whenever I was forced to slap a rider I apologised first and made up for it later. No guilt here. No, I think that the controller nightmare has become my anxiety dream – you know, the one where you’re naked in a public place or whatever.. Just general low level anxiety. Business is bad…

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