When you go into an office and see a Handicap sign on the toilet, this does not signify that this toilet is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the toilet belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you piss there.
One day, the computers at City Sprint had a massive crash and all the rider's jobs for the day were deleted. To cure this, they asked the riders to come in with their PDAs as they store all the finished dockets, and everyone got paid for that day. Except for Chuck Norris, because the City Sprint PDAs only store up to 200 jobs. To cure this new problem, Chuck delivered a swift roundhouse kick to the face of the IT guy, and now carries extra PDAs.
Zack Speedfast should thank his lucky stars that it was Overdrive he had cheated out of the last Digestive. Chuck Norris once killed a controller at Metro for taking a biscuit without asking, even though Chuck Norris has a lifetime supply of Digestives at home.
Chuck Norris knows who Count Basie is.
Sometimes, Chuck Norris flips his flip-flop hub and rides a single-speed with a freewheel. He doesn't put the brakes back on though, traffic just moves out of the way for him if he needs to stop. However, Chuck Norris never stops, except to deliver roundhouse kicks to pedestrians.
Chuck Norris got a perfect score on his City Sprint test, simply by writing Chuck Norris for every answer.
A blind man once accidentally knocked Chuck Norris' bike over when it was parked on the curb. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris him a pussy'ole!!! Pussy'ole Chuck Norris nuh tough like Bad Man. Any time me see Chuck Norris me just smack him inna him face an' kick him inna him pussy, an him jus' go limp off an' a cry to him mother.
Chuck Norris once went to a Bad Man gig in Birmingham. He got up on stage (the bouncers sure didn't try to stop him) and put down rhymes which were so sick that Bad Man fell to his knees and vomited everywhere. Chuck Norris then made up a rhyme about the situation which was so funny that the crowd laughed at Bad Man while he convulsed on the floor for everyone to see. Chuck then roundhouse-kicked Bad Man, once for being a terrible musician, again for living in Birmingham and once more just because Chuck Norris does what he wants.
Dem tings coulda only eva happen inna Chuck Norris' dreams.
But Chuck Norris nuh even dream dem tings about Bad Man.
Chuck Norris' life is one of constant torment and sufferation. Chuck Norris so disturbed and mentally scarred by Bad Man's actions, him did have to seek psychotherapy. But dat couldn't stop Chuck from constantly worrying about Bad Man. Every night Chuck Norris cry himself to sleep, then wake up 10 minutes later from terrible nightmare about what Bad Man do to him. This cycle of wakeful fear and frightful slumber happen every 10 minutes for 8 hours every night. De constant terror is too much; eventually Chuck Norris commit suicide 'cause him can't bear to live another day like this.
You're talking about Chuck Norris here, who is so powerful that he can't wear glasses because when he tried them, his vision was so good that he could see all the way around the world to the back of his head.
Bad Man isn't from Birmingham, fromemory, although he does visit from time to time. When he does, the sky turns black, everyone becomes solemn and woeful, and the police presence increases considerably within his vicinity. Also, an inexplicable and very serious and grim theme tune starts playing.