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Twenty-odd Questions - Seb
20.05.11 by Dazzler

How old are you? 31

Where were you born? North London

How long have you been a courier? 1 year with Lynx back in the day, under 1 year for Creative and over 4 years for bycaboy in that order.

Hang Name? SeB, 47 or just bycaboy.

Who do you ride for? I ride for me, myself and I.

What was your first bike? First bike was a Dawes Edge STXV with RST triple clamp front suspension forks, that was when I got paid in cash weekly in a brown envelope and did some proper saving.

What do you ride now? Now I ride a prototype lo-pro frame bent and built by Cinelli and Orlowski, custom paint job is metallic black with bycaboy and 47 in red. Components are Chris King head set, Paul crank and hubs, Phil Wood bottom bracket, Dodici wheels (both 700c), Avid Elixer front hydraulic brake, 3T Stem, Selle Italia seat, bullet shaped valve caps and whatever handle bars and pedals can’t remember now, and one motherfucker of an engine!!!

What’s the best docket you’ve ever been given? Best docket ever, this is a hard one. It has to be this job delivering 128 boxes of programmes for the Bond Street Association. I brought a mate along to help me out as there was 2 pallets of boxes, 5 hours later we had finished and £490.00 squid better off.

What’s the worst thing about being a courier? There is nothing bad about being a cycle courier for me, I gave up a very good job of 8 years to start out in the courier world, it is totally my career choice. Love every thing about it although it was not always like that. I had a chip on my shoulder with the bullshit that came with the scene and all that quirky wank but since I have been working for myself it’s a completely different and enjoyable job.

Of course there are the perks of the job as I like to call it, the bad road users who put your life or limbs in danger, the security guards who get all high and mighty on one’s arse and just a general lack of respect from fellow human beings all over the place, I put my hand up to say thank you and fuck you to y’all, take it as you will.

_What’s the best thing about being a courier?_The best thing is freedom like no other job can give, same shit different day, I think not.

Describe your childhood in 3 words. Destroy toy cars.

What is your earliest memory? My earliest memory must be from 4am this morning, “fuck I can’t sleep.”

Who are your heroes? Don’t have heroes as such, more like peeps I look up to. Have a whole bunch of friends and family who have inspired me over the years to be a truly fantastic c*nt. For example, my Dad for keeping me fit, my Cousin’s ex healthy appetite for weapons of which mine is still very healthy, friends who have inspired me to be where I am now and all that jazz.

What’s on your music player? 90’s HipHop, Dub House and Garage, New Jack Swing, Soul, R&B, Funk and Christian Rock (only by mistake honest.)

What’s the best piece of clothing/equipment you carry? Best bit of equipment will prob be two things, G-Shock redman watch and my Gaerne Eskimo’s shoes, they are the bloody future!

What advice would you give to any wannabe couriers? Avoid Oxford street, be courteous, be mean and use your fucking head, enjoy!

What’s the best lunch deal in town? Best lunch deal is in my kitchen fool, free if you’re not me and very tasty.

What’s the best chat-up line you’ve ever given to/received by a receptionist? So le chat up line huh, well this is a problem for me you see, its not the chatting up that is the problem it’s mixing business with pleasure. As I own bycaboy and I have a vested interest in keeping clients happy (chatting them up is not part of that) I would NEVER jeopardise the working relationship I have with my clients by crossing that line. Worst case scenario is I lose an account and I ain’t throwing away all my hard work just for some punani, there will be other times and other ways, you get me?

Favourite place to stand by? Favourite standing place is in front of my fridge, ok ok. It used to be 7dials in CovGar but now bycaboy is based in Old street not far from everyone’s favourite cycle friendly (and dog friendly) cafe which some call, Look Mum No Office but I like to sit down instead.

What made you become a courier? I became a cycle courier for one reason only, to get paid to ride my bike every day. Simples.

What one thing would improve the quality of your life? Having my li’l bro who is 9 and lives in France wit me Dad, if he lived here my life would be complete.

Who’d play you in the film of your life? If I ever had that honour it would be Vincent Cassel.

What would be your catchphrase? ‘Sommmmmmebody gonna get hurt real bad!’
or ‘Be a man, do the right thing!’ Thanks to Russell Peters.

It’s the dream dinner party – what 5 guests are there? A dinner party how lovely, my Grandad, Dave Chappell, Oliver Reed, that fit girl who works round the corner and Stephen Fry.

What has been your proudest moment/greatest achievement? For me its probably setting up bycaboy, I did it for all the wrong reasons without really having a clue what I was doing and just did it with minimal savings, a bottomless pit of enthusiasm and determination. I have only 1 qualification to my name and that is a B in GSCE drama. I am not proud of my bullshit attitude towards studying as a youngster and as a result I have always had to work my way up in a business.

If you could go back and edit the past is there anything you would change? Think twice have no regrets, that is how I have lived my life since I was 16 and I would not change a thing. Good, bad or ugly it has shaped who I am today.

What’s the worst job you’ve ever done? I have had some tough jobs in the past, the best and worst are up there together commonly known as a pub. So one day a customer comes up to me and tells me there is blood on a chair and floor, weird I thought for a Sunday afternoon. Upon inspection of the said area and asking near by tables if they had noticed any one sitting there I realised what I was dealing with, how do I put this…. 4 of 12. (work it out) Oh yea and rubber gloves!

What is the most important lesson life has taught you? Ask or you don’t get.

How would you like to be remembered? That was the bloke who was doing a piss in the field when a sheep backed on to him….

What would your superpower be? Freeze Time, fuck yeah!

Freedom is… A new fragrance from John Paul Smelly Balls.

You have a time machine – where would you go? Back to the times of Jesus Christ so I could tell his followers, He is not the Messiah, he’s a very naughty boy!

You are allowed to pass one new law – what is it? Happy days every one, weed is now legal!

How do you relax? See above.

Tell us something about yourself we would never guess. I have been in a room in a private members club where only one woman in history has ever stepped inside. It was the Queen Mother.

You’ve got one youtube link – what is it? This

  1. pics by Chloe True

    — dazzler    22 May 2011, 09:46    #
  Textile help

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