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Rollapaluza VII Results
28.01.07 by Buffalo Bill

Nat on the new rollers! pic by Selim

The 7th edition of the London bicycle messenger culture clash ended with a somewhat mixed bag of results. However, the riders and spectators all went home happy after an evening of beats, beer, and static bicycle roller racing.


  1. Therese Bjorn – LBMA/Bega 22.07 secs
  2. Tanya – NYBMA 23.92
  3. Scarlett – LBMA 24.52
  4. Roxy – Random 25.47
  5. Anna – Movingtarget 25.61
  6. Jacqui Shannon – LBMA 25.92
  7. Nat – Random 30.30


  1. Jos Da Boss – LBMA/Metro Muppet 19.82
  2. Kaspar von MetroKontrollar – Metrodonkey 19.99
  3. Mikey – Metroyogi 20.51
  4. Bingo – Metromonkey 21.11
  5. Gerti – LBMA/Creative couriers 21.38
  6. Greg – Random 21.48
  7. Bongo – Team Pilsudski 21.50
  8. Mike Kangelos – LBMA 21.51
  9. Dan – Team Manchester 21.63
  10. Brido – Team Glasgow 21.69
  11. Buffalo Bill – Movingtarget 21.78
  12. Jon Chang – Team Manchester 22.31
  13. Oliver – Random 22.77
  14. Krzys Slomo – Creative Couriers 23.00
  15. Jono – Movingtarget 23.61
  16. Yasu – Team Nippon 23.78
  17. Justin – Team Kieran 24.49
  18. Neal K – Team Dublin CMWC 2007 25.50
  19. Seamus O’Hooligan – Drunk’n‘Silly 25.57
  20. Phillip – Random 25.62
  21. Kieran – Team Inch-High 27.27

Jos da Boss

The new rollers purchased in Holland to replace the set that we normally use are clearly much quicker than the Catford C.C. setup. Joss and Kaspar posted sub-20 sec times, the first ever in a London cycle courier roller-race. Therese Bjorn, fresh from smashing the South London Roller-Race League all-comers record, set a new record last night and posted the 12th fastest time overall, beating 10 men, including the 1999 King of Fixed – John Chang.


  • Kieran beat Yasu (ride over)
  • Justin beat Philip
  • Neal K beat Seamus


  • Jono beat Neal K
  • Kieran beat Justin

‘Repechage’: I am not sure of the exact meaning of the word. It may be french, it may not. Anoraks can check out the Wiki definition. In the context of roller-racing just think of it as the losers’ second chance, or a means by which a messenger roller-race organiser such as myself can trim unhelpful numbers of entrants like 19 or 23 into nice round even numbers.

The second male repechage round matched up Kieran against his cousin Justin, and all felt justice was done to Justin when Kieran beat him despite being made to ride the bigger bike which clearly suits him less. A further slight by his cousin was that the smaller red bike was Kieran’s own old bike, which he donated to Rollapaluza.


  • Nat beat Roxy
  • Anna beat Jacqui

from zero to hero - Kieran! pic by Selim


  • Kieran beat Jos (Yes, Kieran beat Jos. My instant reaction was that there was something wrong with the bikes.)
  • Kaspar beat Jono
  • Krzys beat Mikey
  • Bingo beat Oliver
  • Chang beat Gerti
  • Greg beat Buffalo Bill
  • Bongo beat Brido
  • Dan beat Mike K

By the time we reached the end of the male round it was obvious that something was not right with the equipment. I do not want to bore readers with the details, but suffice to say that even though Kieran was obviously on fire and Jos had been sitting down for 3 hours, there is no way that Kieran should be able to beat Jos. A popular win, nonetheless, which was much enjoyed by the crowd and showed Jos’ sporting spirit. At the end of his race he very courteously dismounted and shook Kierans hand. Almost any other messenger racer of the Beast of the North East’s stature would have spent the rest of the evening making ceaseless protests and excuses without end. All Joss said on the question of the obviously skewed result was “Well, if you want 50’s style roller-racing, then you have to have to accept the results”. In a culture of winners its nice to meet a champion who knows how to lose gracefully.

Chang and Therese wrestle with the red bike. Pic by Selim

It was obvious that the racing was being compromised by the clear advantage that the blue bike was giving to its riders. The mechanics were also having chronic difficulties with the chain tension of the red bike. The organisers experimented with primitive handicapping, in an attempt to redress the balance and continue with the sporting spectacle. However, despite the manful and womanful efforts of the mechanics, we were unable to continue the racing and the evening was brought to an unsatisfactory but not unhappy close.

Thanks are due to:
Therese and Kaspar for organising absolutely everything; Crissi and Twitchy for doing the door; Johnny Chang Kensha Crew; Jono for the poster and the spoke-cards; DJ’s: Jono, Richard and Sleepy, Kings of the Spinners; Anna for results; and everyone who showed up.

Sadly missed

Do not forget
Rapha Roller Race, 10th February 2007, Shoreditch Town Hall, 380 Old Street, EC1

Jono’s pictures of Rollapaluza VII here
Selim’s pictures here
Jono’s video here

  1. Hey, I am trying to reach Nat, she qualified 7th in the 500meters at Rollapaluza. Bit of a long stretch but if this could in anyway find her I would be greatful.

    Thank you

    — Blatcho    10 December 2008, 01:59    #
  2. Try asking for Nhatt on the MT forum.

    — Bill    10 December 2008, 19:12    #
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