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I have been ignoring this story...
1.11.07 by Buffalo Bill

…even though a few of you have sent me links to it.

I just want to make one thing clear: I have never had sex with a bicycle. Neither have I ever simulated sex with a bicycle. I have also not only never had sex on a bicycle, I have never contemplated having sex on a bicycle. Just not my thing.

I do love riding my bike, but what I love is the simplicity of the form, and the efficiency of the function. I am thrilled sometimes by the experience of the road passing under my wheels, and occasionally left breathless and stunned by encounters with my environment that I have had whilst riding.

But a bicycle is made of steel, aluminium and other hard, unyielding materials. The only part of a bicycle that is not hard and unyielding is the saddle. I do like my saddles, but I don’t find them erotic. My ideal sexual partner is soft, tender and responsive, not cold and inanimate. So I don’t understand the motivation of the guy who was caught doing it with his bicycle. But it does seem a little harsh that he has been placed on the sex offenders list.

However, there is something tremendously erotic and sexual about riding a bike alongside a beautiful woman. Perhaps it’s the expectation that upon arrival at the destination you will put the bicycles down and tear each other’s sweat-drenched clothes off and then…

Why did I finally succumb and blog this story?

Roxy sent me a link to a Torygraph article and at the bottom was these ‘related’ links:

26 October 2007: Paris mayor moves to stop public urinating
25 October 2007: Doctors battle to save ‘human pin-cushion’
3 October 2007: Firemen reprimanded for disturbing gay sex act
4 May 2007: Goat survived by kid and human husband

  1. Bill, that third paragraph is head & nail time. an epitaph for our collegues & compadres.
    nice one !
    D.


    — DDecx    1 November 2007, 21:41    #
  2. But the point is it’s funny, though I’m not sure who or what was sexually offended.


    — iifbm    1 November 2007, 22:44    #
  3. legal friend of mine explained that given the terms of that particular part of the Sexual Offences Act 2003, once he had determined that there was a “significant sexual element” to the offence, the sheriff had virtually no option but to put him on the register


    Alex    2 November 2007, 00:10    #
  4. i feel Bill should be put on the list. I feel violated after reading his story. I had an image go through my head of bill shagging a bicycle whilst dressed as a priest.


    — Beastialitybill    2 November 2007, 10:38    #
  5. anyone remember the macedonian bike porn i put up on the old muppet league site? that’s how to fuck/be fucked by a bike :p


    — sleepy    8 November 2007, 11:09    #
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