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Fakengers strike back at 'messenger alley-cat elitism'!
12.06.07 by Buffalo Bill

The messenger/fakenger conflict has escalated to a new level of hostility with the announcement that fakengers are to be banned from alley-cats, starting with the ‘Dublin or Bust’ bash on June 30th. This move has brought an immediate response from the organisation that represents London’s fakengers, the London Bicycle Fakenger Association:

In an unprecedented act of uber-elitism by the organiser – a man known only by the code-name of Selimski – it seems that unless you currently are or have actually been a messenger, this event is off-limits. Once our blood had stopped boiling and we bgan to think about this irrationally, it appears that the fundamental question is whether not having the skill, talent or sheer machismo required for such an event should be enough to bar Fakengers from entering it? Since when has not having the required qualifications ever been a barrier to participation? This country is run by people without the right qualifications and certainly without the required experience and who are we to argue that they can’t take place in a cycle race?

Full article is here.

More details of the ‘discriminatory’ alley-cat.

  1. Being Londons best looking fakenger, this will not bother me as I shall be too busy working on my “blue steel” look.

    — Tom    12 June 2007, 12:14    #
  2. this is getting out of hand. or boring, I’m not sure.

    — larryred    12 June 2007, 14:09    #
  3. Keep it real, innit

    — Jos    12 June 2007, 14:21    #
  4. ah don’t know, these alleycats have seemed very complex of late.. you hand over your money, get lost and then act all silly at the end on beer.. is seven missing out? surely jos wants to win more cash, so like the more the merrier.. the bedford square dash was entertaining & that was a mixed entry…

    — seven    12 June 2007, 18:11    #
  5. Fakenger? As in Fake Messenger?


    — knarf    13 June 2007, 19:28    #
  6. fakengers exist everywhere they are not just attempting to immitate messengers they copy a variety of different trends/fads, i think it is fair to ban them from an event that is for the wcmc!!! bill, quite simply stop stirring sh#te, i know being a controller is boring but you need to find another outlet for all this mid life crisis you havin.

    see you in dubin

    — redrum    13 June 2007, 21:00    #
  7. Moi, stirring? Ah non!

    — Bill    14 June 2007, 08:11    #
  8. I wish I was a messenger But I am too fat and busy rewriting my greatest hit album. too many reasons..great fukin lyrics man.

    — Phill Collins    17 June 2007, 05:37    #
  9. they are called missengers


    — tofu    18 June 2007, 01:24    #
  10. Bleedin’ veganger.

    — Bill    18 June 2007, 07:29    #
  11. erm…just saw nigel in sydney and he was taking about this fakenger thing…it sounds better than being a messenger…i’m in.

    — crashlikeyoumeanit    23 June 2007, 04:18    #
  12. they’re here in warsaw too. brakeless trackbike and flipflops was a combination i witnessed this weekend.

    — skot    25 June 2007, 09:02    #
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