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Aunty Nasty #5
16.01.06 by nasty

Dear Aunty Nasty
I read your article on the London Bicycle Messenger Association website and with regards to being seen on the roads, our company has a revolutionary new product, a hi-viz vest that can be seen in total darkness, and seen from up to a mile away.
To read more on our product, please visit our web site at
www.c-u-products.co.uk
regards
david gibson
european sales manager

Nasty: a caring kinda girl. pic: E Blanchet

Dear David
what is up with you, douchebag?
Didn’t anyone tell you that we messengers don’t have a care in the world for our personal safety. Unless you’re some import helmet wearing Aussie that poaches work off us English. Actually, I’ll rephrase that, us messengers don’t have a care in the world for anyone else’s personal safety, Running red lights, riding some ghetto fixed wheel conversion with no brakes etc etc etc. I rest my case.
Mebbe you’d be better off selling your crap in the Guardian. I am sure that Matt Seaton will be happy to give you an endorsement and I have heard that his rates are very reasonable. That’s just hearsay, tho, and as such, would not stand up in a court of law.
Kindest regards back at you
Aunty Nasty

Dear Aunty Nasty,
Is this worth the money?
“Hi! I saw your wanted ad for a Bob Jackson touring bike on the ctc website I am just about to put my wife’s red 21” Bob Jackson up for sale. It has been resprayed a few years ago and has not had much use since then so is in nice condition I am going to put it up for £400 is this of any use to you if so either e mail me back or give me a ring on 0113******* we live in L**** so not that far from you
Graham”
Ness Brierly
M21

Dear Ness
Yeah, whatever. Get some beat up piece of crap. And sell me that track bike of yours. No really. I’ll take if off you. Mebbe you should just buy a Bianchi Pista instead ya fakenger.
Much love,
Aunty Nasty.

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Uncle Buffalo

Escape from Bolton - Friday 19th September
How people end up here
Aunty Nasty #6
Dear Uncle Buffalo
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