Aunty Nasty #4
13.01.06 by nasty
Happy Holidays dear Readers…,
Shit, its 2006 already is it? Oh well, I’ve been in rehab. Again. Uncle Nasty and I have had a slight disagreement of late. I’m still on the Isle of White, but he’s p1ssed off to Tenerife for a bit. I went awol for a bit before Christmas, and things were looking rather bleak, but as I keep telling myself at least I have a roof over my head, beer in the fridge, some Jamesons in the pantry and someone holding only a phone call away, then everything is fine.
Dear Aunty Nasty
I think I’m a pervert. I keep masturbating in public places. I can’t help myself.
The other day I was walking through the local park when a group of messengers cycled past me. One of them smiled at me, which got me very aroused. That was it – I had to climb into a bush and relieve myself.
I have been caught five times, once by an old van controller cottaging in Soho Square. He went mad, and started hitting me with his pump. I’ve also been cautioned by the police. I’m 34 and worry it might ruin my life if I don’t stop.
You’ve quite rightly identified that you have a big problem – and big problems require professional help. If you’ve already been caught five times, then I hate to think how many times you’ve got away with it. And to have already been cautioned once by the police is very worrying.
I urge you to visit your gp and ask for help. Explain that this compulsive behaviour is taking over your life and that you have become very worried. It wont help you one bit, but I assure you, guarantee you, that you’ll get the finest medication known to man.